Don’t use someone else as an excuse for your dumb selfish attitude and behavior. You are what you what you make of your self … fucked up or  compassionate!

I choose to continue showing my compassion towards you because that is the only way I know how to be despite the fact that you would love to see me destroyed completely .

Do I get angry no, I don’t know how … sad just so sad, very sad.

Tomorrow I will teach myself to be angry & bleed out the angst. That’s better than killing myself & inflicting this pain upon myself that I don’t deserve “Bhanu deserves simple joys & she will have it NOW…”

but first I need to cry